Having the tough talk

Nobody wants to talk about the end of their own life. It’s just too heavy, too difficult, too overwhelming. So all of us change the subject, we dance around it, we avoid it, but it’s so important to understand our loved one’s final wishes. Take my family as an example.

My mother was the picture of health one minute, playing poker at the casino, and then the next minute, knocked off her chair, brain aneurysm, gone – the end. On the other hand, we helped my father fight cancer for three years, but nobody, not even a big-shot life insurance executive like my dad wants to talk about their passing. 

So after months and months of trying, I tried something different – I used hypotheticals. I started asking questions phrased like, “Dad, if you got hit by a bus tonight, what would you want me to do with this?” “Who should I call about that?” “What decision would you want me to make with this?” He was able to handle those hypotheticals. So one by one, he answered the tough questions. It’s tough, but I’ve found it helps most to depersonalize it. Over the last 20 years, I’ve used this lesson to help many people. So please ask about the old stories, the last wishes, the accounts, the passwords, any business decisions, beneficiaries, all of it. Make an end of life planning checklist, and reach out for life insurance advice. Learn how to buy life insurance and what to do when a loved one dies. Have those tough talks, and make those informed decisions, because in the end — coming from personal experience — not knowing is so much worse and so much tougher.